I am not sure why exactly I decided to write some thoughts down about this, but here is a humorous look at what not to say to a Conservation Officer. They are not in any particular order.
1. “Idiot.”
2. “We would have had more deer but our floodlight batteries died.”
3. “We caught that big one just to the left of the ‘Fish Sanctuary’ sign.”
4. “Talk about luck! I shot it just across the highway here.”
5. “Yup. My firearm is secure. You should see the size of the screws in the mounting bracket on the roof of my truck. It’s even got a dampening system to make sure the bumps are not a factor while shooting at running game.”
6. “Of course I know who you are! I could read your name tag through my scope.”
7. “No...the sign said live bait was prohibited. There is no ‘P’ in ‘Not Allowed’.”
8. “We always get our bag limit on the first day – ever since Bubba started using mortars.”
9. “I don’t know where the other 3 dead deer came from, but this deer over here came out to me 4 times!
10. “You feeling lucky, punk?”
I don’t mean to disrespect the men and women who help protect our natural resources. My hat is off to all you do – even if that means we have to scramble for our licenses when you knock on our hunting/fishing camp doors.
